


que sera, sera

by trepidtorrent



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Brief Mention of Suicide, Depression, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, One Shot, Other, Past Relationship(s), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, feel free to interpret the ending however you like, jae crying :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 09:17:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15240213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trepidtorrent/pseuds/trepidtorrent
Summary: whatever will be, will be.an angsty one-shot where you bump into your ex-lover, park jaehyung.





	que sera, sera

**Author's Note:**

> this is gonna be sad :(
> 
> also! please please don't proceed if you didn't read the tags as i have put all the trigger warnings i've found there

"Don't you sometimes wish things ended differently?"

"I don't know," A pause follows, before some more words are spoken. "Was there anything else we could've done differently?"

Across the table, Jae is seated with his hands in his overcoat's pockets, still and unmoving. _It's freezing tonight_ \- you observe as a puff of smoke accompanies Jae's soft sigh. You take the cup of coffee in front of you into your hands, expecting to feel warmth. But the sensation doesn't come. Your gaze travels to the convenience store's clock. The hands tell you it's only a matter of minutes before midnight. Your eyes trail back to the boy seated in front of you as you make the conclusion that it's been almost an hour since you two had met up.

"The coffee isn't hot anymore," you say, tearing your eyes away from him. 

"It is also untouched," His comment comes out awkwardly. You feel him lay his eyes on you, but you only shrug indifferently.

"Yeah."

Jae takes out his hands and lays them both on the table, palm up, each on either side of the coffee cup you hold. 

You look at his hands. _Beautiful_. You raise your head and look him in the eyes. _Pretty_. You loosen your hold around the cup, and opt to put your hands on his. He smiles weakly.  
_Ethereal_. His hands squeeze yours and you feel the warmth you've been craving for some time now. How many years had it been? Two? Three? You haven't lost track, you just didn't want to count how much time had passed since the goodbyes that had been bid on a december night under the annoyingly flashy lights of Christmas decor.

"I never liked coffee. It's hot and bitter," You confess. "But I loved going with you to cafés." 

"I never liked staying in either," He chuckles, "especially when I could go out and hang with Bernard and the others. But I loved being able to see and spend time with you." 

"That wasn't the only reason." You egg on. Because you knew there was something else. The something that also kept him from leaving even though you both knew damn well there wasn't anything worth salvaging anymore in a dysfunctional relationship.

"Yeah it wasn't." 

Jae is the first to break eye contact. 

Your feel your heart about to crumble in on itself.

There is a prolonged moment of silence.

The air becomes suffocating. 

You know he wants to ask you if you've been okay. Like he didn't throw all your blades and cutters before he left, or like he didn't throw all the potential pills he's seen you try to down excessively before down the drain. 

"I've been well, please believe me. Thank you." Tears well up in your eyes as you see some already running down Jae's cheeks. You let go of his hands and place them on his cheeks as you gently wipe his tears.

_He's too beautiful to be crying. He doesn't deserve this. Only I do._

"You make 'thank you's sound like goodbye." He tries to laugh. Tries. He miserably fails as he breaks down into fits of sob in front of you as his hands grab yours and grips them tightly.

"Do I?" You manage to choke out before covering your sobs with lousy laughter, much more believble than Jae's. ( _You've been doing it for years, that's why._ )

As soon as he had let go of your hands, you don't hesitate to stand up. The sudden absence of warmth in your palms and fingers leaves you with a small weird feeling.

"I love you, Park Jaehyung. Rest assured I've taken good care of myself, okay?" Just like that, you step out of the store, wind chimes tinkling in your leave. 

__

_I've taken good care of myself Jae. All thanks to you. I hope you atleast know that._

You walk onwards, without a care. 

Finally, you stop. The railings of Mapo Bridge shine bright and there are thoughtful sentences sprawled out, along with pictures of happy-looking people—something the Government designed the bridge railing to do whenever someone touches it, obviously to try and decrease suicide especially in this area.

The sky is dark and there aren't any stars. The moon is nowhere to be seen also. A lot of cars whiz by as it is still some time around midnight after all, however everything just seemed muted to you—like calming background noise. All you hear is the sound of the cold breeze gently caressing your cheek. Almost as if it was one of those times where you and Jae lay against each other in half-painful, half-comforting silence after a long and tiring day, tears streaming down not only yours but also his face, pills spilled from a bottle of brand benzodiazepines as Jae had tackled them right off your hands, and where afterwards he would caress your cheeks and tell you sweet, comforting words. _It'll be alright. You'll be okay. I'll always be here for you._

The message on the railing in front of you reads :

_커피 한잔 어때?  
Want a cup of coffee?_

Just as you had finished reading it, the phone in your pocket buzzes. 

**jaehyungie**  
_let's have coffee sometime again, please._

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaah this was sad, wasn't it? but i hoped you liked it tho! it's my first time putting up one of my works on ao3 so i'm quite nervous
> 
> anyways! the ending is kinda vague and that is for you guys to interpret the ending any way you like! i'd like to hear your thoughts! ♡
> 
> also, please remember, if any of you guys need someone to talk to i'm all ears :( you're not alone, okay? you can contact me through [twitter](https://twitter.com/trepidtorrent?s=09) or maybe drop something in my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/trepidtorrent)'s ♡


End file.
